I am a creeper when my owner is showering.
I bit my owner on the rear when she was bending to clean my litter box.
I try to pass off three-day-old, flattened roadkill as my own catch.
I somehow got the lid off the urn, then I sneezed in Grandma's ashes.
I diligently perform "cat opera" at 4 a.m.
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